手把手教你托福独立写作

8/28更新：增加了关于作文提纲的一点看法

****8/10更新：增加了我对issue和ibt作文的不同理解****

最近改作文比较多，总结出这篇东西给大家。这并不是模板，不能把单词往里搁，只是对作文思路的把握。俺的背景：IBT总分115，作文30分。

首先，我们必须明确什么是好的独立作文。大家都知道GRE作文和IBT作文考点有区别，后者只要论证清晰了，生动了，语言流畅了，就是好作文。不需要超级长的从句和冷僻的词汇，因此这也不是本文的讨论范围。

刚好有人问起issue和ibt作文的不同，这里啰嗦两句：

我理解，issue和ibt的区别是论证时对于“全面性”的考虑。issue很少有可以带个人经验/感情色彩的题目，但ibt却很经常。因此，ibt论证时不需要面面俱到，挑几个你觉得好写的就行。也就是说，论证时会更从某个特定角度入手，因而相对的例子也生活化一点。

复习独立作文的方法：IBT作为改革性的考试，就是把听说读写混在一起。我改作文的时候说过很多次，再强调下也不为过：阅读质量和写作水平是紧密挂钩的。想要写出更漂亮的句子，必须多看E文杂志，报纸什么的，不要局限于185范文（不过我觉得适当看看GRE范文对句型练习和逻辑思考有一定好处）。读多了，好的表达方法才会变成活的跑进你脑袋里。阅读的时候读出声也能帮助你记住漂亮的表达方式。简言之，写作不是光敲敲键盘就可以提高的，没有输入，必定没有输出。

------------------------------------下面开始说具体的独立作文写作---------------------------------

8/28更新：关于提纲

很多同学练习的时候喜欢先写个提纲。虽然正式考试时可能没有时间列提纲，但平时练习还是可以用用的。

关于提纲，我想说尽量不要用中文写提纲。坏处：

1 这相当于先用中文思考，再翻译成英文。

2 中英文思考方式不同，有些中文看了言之凿凿变成英文其实啥也没有。

那么用英文写提纲的好处：

1 长此以往能够培养用英语思考的能力。

2 提升写作速度。写提纲的时候其实就是分论点了，那么经过一段时间练习，拿到题，确定论点后，直接敲上分论点，然后就展开了。这样思路也顺。

所以最后的目标是消灭提纲，或者说把提纲融化到作文里去。

首先是关于论证思路。常见的作文题目类型：2选1，是否支持某观点，为什么。2选1的情况下，如果两者不是绝对对立，可以写中立观点，用我个人考试经验来说，中立观点是可以写，可以写的好的，但是不太常见。举例“不是所有的东西能从书本中学来。 比较经验知识和书本知识。 哪个更重要。”就可以写两个都重要。而是否支持的情况下，就不适合用中立观点，比如“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.”不能一段写提高，一段写破坏，这样等于没有立场。为什么类型的题目（如：你认为游客为什么喜欢去博物馆）不存在这个问题。

确定正方/反方/中立之后，开始思考分论点。中立可以用2大段了事，其它的一般3段，其中一段可以让步，也可以不让。这里说一下针对2选1类型题目的论证方法。在论证的时候要抓住A和B的区别来写。举例：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to have one or two close friends than to have a large number of casual acquaintances. 假设知音=A，点头之交=B。如果我们赞成A，那么接着讨论几个赞成的理由：可以和A说知心话（这是B做不到的）；如果写反方，那么和B交往可以看到很多不同人的丰富的生活，处世态度（A做不到这点）。抓住这个走基本就不会很偏了。

每一段分论点中的每一句话（除了第一句）都应该围绕着这段的分论点展开，如果和分论点是重复/并列的关系，就没有必要了。T的作文不太能用模板，就是因为个人发挥更重要，如果你看自己作文的时候，觉得这一句话删掉对于你的论证并没有妨碍，那么证明这是废话，需要改进。我们还是来看例子（插播：这一段来自1点50分同学的一篇作文，稍微改了一下，如有冒犯请多包涵）The first point I would like to emphasize is that playing computer games will give children opportunity to relax after they accomplish their homework. As the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy". Children should have enough time to relax. If they study all the time and have not enough leisure time, they will get tired of school work and even frustrated. I cannot imagine what children's life will be like if there is no recreation time for them. The result of children not having enough leisure time is that it will influence the mental health of children. Therefore, playing computer games will not waste a lot of time. On the contrary, they can avoid mental illness and enhance the efficient of students’ study.来看下这段的主题句（红色）就是游戏帮助孩子放松。那么接下来的句子应该围绕HOW而不是重复游戏能让学生放松。划线部分的句子就是处于和主题句并列的状况，或者和主题句无关，属于累赘。把累赘去掉了就能看清楚这段的论证为什么看似挺长却有点言之无物了。具体地说，什么叫做展开论点？也就是用例子了。IBT作文很多情况下是问“你”的看法，因此完全可以用生活中的个人的例子来说明问题，我觉得这些比什么科学数据容易编造而且不容易显得很假。有时候论证遇到瓶颈，实在想不出理由，可以从反面（如果缺失某物会怎样来思考）。比如：要不要大家都上历史课？如果写赞成的观点，可以想想不上历史课会有怎样不好的影响。

作为结尾段，适当地重复一下3个（2个）分论点，以及总的立场就可以了。有些同学喜欢在这里让个步什么的，比如全篇写孩子看电视不好，最后写上一句虽然孩子看电视也有好处，这样不好，没有空间把让步的观点写出来了，如果实在要让步，可以在第一个分论点那里补上。另外有的同学复述立场的时候，写because of

XXXXX，注意这个XXXXX中不要出现之前没有出现过的概念。

------------------------------------上面是论证，下面是语言的分割线----------------------------------

首先是语法。这个虽然不是IBT的重点，但是OG说语法错误太多会影响rater阅读，所以还是尽量避免的好。HYACINTH斑竹有个帖子：http://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=958381&highlight= 就是说写作中的语法的。这里就我看到得比较频繁的错误说一下。

1> 一个动词原则。虽然很基本，但是句子长了就会不自觉地写出两个动词来。另外对于逗号的使用也要注意，中文里语气承接可以用逗号，而英文却是屈服于语法的。

2>连词（词组）的使用。这个对于好的应试作文很重要，GT都一样。多看看范文就能基本掌握了。Firstly, to sum up这些比较容易，稍微要注意下的是表示让步语气的连词，比如however, although, still, on the other hand这类。用好连词能让文章逻辑清晰。

3>主谓一致。很多同学有这个问题，经常是在定语从句里，或者主语是个较长的词组，就顾不上动词了。

4>句子前后平衡。摘自贫民窟主的一篇作文中“They can also be amused by the programs broadcast on TV, talking  about these programs after their watching”逗号前后的跟着动词can的内容要平衡，即都要用原形，前一个是be，后一个不可能是talking，应该是talk。另外人称也容易在长句中前后不一致。摘自yumanta同学的一篇作文“Before some people plan to go to travel, he or she does not prepare very well”单就主语来看，some people和后面的he/she不平衡，这个也是很常见的问题。

语法问题暂时就想到这些，然后说下大家可能更关心的如何提升语言吧。

当然首先是在语言已经比较流畅的基础上了，除了不断阅读学学好的表达之外，说两个捷径吧，但是不能乱用，掌握好时机是关键。

一是设问句的使用。如果看看杂志报道，就会发现句子的种类也是可以很丰富的。虽然IBT作文不太适合很惊悚的感叹句，用问句恰当地提亮还是可以的。我喜欢用在总起段的末尾，有点提神的意思，进一步明确立场。举例，题目是Distance learning and online computer classes should replace classroom learning. Agree or disagree? 以下是俺两年前写的开头，大家将就下。“

With the advent of computer technology, especially the internet, more and more students choose to take their courses online for a brand-new learning experience. On the other hand, the traditional classroom learning seems to be facing more challenges. Is online education feasible? Yes. And probably good as well. Will classroom learning be displaced? I believe not.”用问句的形式比较抓人眼球。至于在文章其他部分的问句，我很少用，不代表不鼓励大家用，只要能起到点题的作用，也可以，但是千万不要每段都来几个问句，多了就不好了。（题外话，就像眉骨下提亮的眼影，一点点就好了）

二是长短句的交替使用。这个使用范围是全文，但是也比较难一点。应试作文大多是长篇大论，间歇性来个短句好处是打破单调，让rater集中精力到你的文章上来。例子俺暂时没有想出来。。。。。。-___-b

-----------------------------------练习时的其他注意事项-------------------------------------------

一是要计时。刚开始练得三五篇无所谓，但是要赶快养成这个习惯。

二是不要中途查字典。不会的词，强迫自己用别的方式表达出来。写完再查字典。

三是每次写完要留一点时间检查，主要是语法了，但这个是面子工程，不得不注意。

四是还没想出来。

------------------------------------俺的一篇小作文的分割线--------------------------------------------

最后附上一篇俺的小作文，就是上面提到的那个网络教学的题目，两年前写的了，俄。大家随意看看就好。前面的内容比较重要。

With the advent of computer technology, especially the internet, more and more students choose to take their courses online for a brand-new learning experience. On the other hand, the traditional classroom learning seems to be facing more challenges. Is online education feasible? Yes. And probably good as well. Will classroom learning be displaced? I believe not.

To be frank, online education provides fresh learning experience unheard of before. The most distinct benefit comes from a flexible schedule. Students, especially adults with part-time jobs or even full-time jobs, take full advantage of this point. They are now free to choose any program that fits into their daily schedule. Compared with the traditional idea of “going to school”, this is better illustrated as “the school is going to you”. Another obvious advantage is the multi-media learning platform. Computer technology promises vivid short plays, detailed lectures and even games designed for the course, all of which appeal to students a great deal.

However, it is clear to me that online education has certain innate setbacks which render it unable to compete with the traditional classroom learning. Firstly, communication is very limited online. The opponent may argue chat-rooms are great tools. However, face-to-face communication can never be replaced, because it conveys information besides the words that form a sentence, but also intonations and body language. Facial expressions and gestures all facilitate understanding during a conversation. Suppose a student finds part of the lecture baffling, he can directly ask the professor in the classroom and probably they will communicate with the help of notes, pictures, blackboards and their body language. These tools are simply impossible to combine during an online course.

Yet another important downside of online education is that it has the potential of turning students into negative learners, because they do not and cannot participate in classroom activities. Since everyone is learning by his or her own on a computer, chances are slim that they can form real-life study groups, which in a traditional setting do projects and researches together. For example, if a student enrolls in an online drama class, it’s natural to play a part in the drama to gain in-depth perspectives on this topic. However, the student is unable to join the activity online, simply because it is not feasible. Gradually, the drama topic seems to be drifting away from the student because he is not actively involved in the learning process. A traditional classroom setting, on the other hand, provides a lot more opportunities for students to take an active role in the learning process.

To sum up, online education is fascinating in some ways and does offer different learning experience. However, it cannot and should not replace traditional classroom learning, due to the lack of communication and participation. A classroom always remains the best place to learn.