文书点评：当医生的父亲（Father was a Doctor）

Father was a Doctor

My mother often recounts a story about me following around my father, our small town’s internist, on a certain home visit. Upon finding a woman with a swollen, painful belly, he began palpating her abdomen -- when he noticed two tiny hands of a toddler, emulating his own. I cannot remember a time when I was not interested in health care. As I finished high school and entered college, however, I had my doubts. I grew up watching my father suffer the hardships of his career, from long hours and disappointments to the difficulty of providing adequate care under insurance regulations. Additionally, I wondered whether I was genuinely dedicated to medicine or whether I was simply infatuated with the idea of imitating the extraordinary individual that is my father. Indeed, with three members of my immediate family in medicine, I felt as though I was simply falling into the occupation. Today, however, I have come to realize that I did not merely fall into medicine -- I fell in love with the profession on my own accord.

One notable memory often reminds me that when I am providing any type of patient care, no matter how minor, I have the feeling that I am at home. As a lifeguard, I had the chance to provide first aid on several occasions, and I recall one such event very clearly. During the summer after a particularly difficult sophomore year in college, I was left with many questions, including whether medicine truly offered the best career path for me. Then, one afternoon I was watching the pool when a young girl, slipping from the waterslide, collided with another swimmer. She struggled out of the water in a panic, fearing a broken leg. Rushing over, as I calmed her and assessed her right leg, I suddenly had that familiar feeling: this was my calling. To date, nothing in my life has felt more natural than when I was caring for Marie by the pool that day. Consequently, in the past two years I have only sought to expand on my opportunities to participate in and provide medical care to others. Last year I completed my training and gained certification as an emergency medical technician, and only recently, I began volunteering with the Orange County Rescue Squad. Finally getting the chance to participate actively in patient care has proven tremendously fulfilling and has further solidified my commitment to the medical field.

Hoping to learn more about health care within hospitals, I volunteered at the University of North Carolina’s Resident OB/GYN Clinic in the Women’s Hospital. Here, the nurses and residents have taken extra time to explain their procedures and courses of treatment, while I have also actively taken part in the care of the patients. In the past year I have gained experience taking blood pressures, weights, and patient histories. I also spent a memorable night following Dr. Lois Aronson in the labor and delivery ward. During this period, I observed two deliveries and two surgeries, and I also learned to perform pelvic exams and find fetal heartbeats. My favorite part of the whole volunteering experience, however, must have been the chance to witness Dr. Aronson’s thoughtful and compassionate interaction with patients during normal prenatal checkups. While observing her careful communication skills, I developed my own approach to conversing honestly and caringly with patients.

To complement my hands-on experience preparing for my career as a physician, I have devoted my energy to preparing for the rigorous scientific education that must preface the training of any thoughtful and capable physician. When reflecting on my college career, one experience stands out as the most enjoyable learning experience of all: teaching an introductory biology lab at UNC for two semesters. This endeavor allowed me to assume the role of a mentor and an instructor. As I was responsible for the laboratory education of 25 students each semester, this undertaking taught me to become a communicative leader who can guide others in their educational development. Moreover, the sheer amount of pleasure I received from helping my students achieve their goals reflects my commitment to a career of service.

My mother always said, “Don’t be a doctor unless you have to.” I feel that I am truly beginning to understand what she means. I know that becoming a physician is a long, difficult path. I have witnessed the realities of medicine in my own home and have spoken with an exhausted medical student on the thirtieth hour of her shift. I also know that for me it is worth it. Nothing would make me happier than devoting my life to becoming a physician and delivering quality, compassionate health care. To achieve my goals, I look forward to medical school as the next necessary and welcome step.

分析：

通过儿时跟随父亲出诊，自己模仿父亲为病人检查的动作渐渐引出自己对医学的兴趣。但随后话锋一转，矛盾产生了：进入大学后，想想自己看到父亲为事业而遭受的艰辛，自己思考是否是发自内心的想从事医学这个职业。为后来的陈述打下很好的伏笔。接下来通过几件事——也就是矛盾的激化最后得到一个答案：自己心甘情愿的爱上了这个职业。第二段，大二的一个暑假救助一个撞断腿的小女孩给作者留下了非常深刻的印象，护理病人给了作者极大的满足并且巩固了他献身医疗领域的想法。第三段，写自己在妇女医院的北卡罗来纳大学常驻OB/GYN诊所做了一名志愿者，学会了更多关于医疗保健的知识。但自己收获更多的是当志愿者期间，跟随Aronson博士学会了如何对病人更周道和体贴，如何更加真诚和体贴的与患者交谈。也是自己对医学热爱的一个升华。第四段，写了曾经在大学生物实验室承担两个学期的教学工作，向对方评审委员会展现了自己的教学能力和领导能力，同时也紧扣主题，对事业的热爱进一步升华。最后一段，与第一段呼应，表明作者通过以上的经历，已经把医学当作自己一生的职业。

语言的描写非常形象生动，让读者能够更容易接受，更容易产生共鸣。对整篇文章进行总结，表现出自己对内科医生这项事业的工作信心。本篇文章，作者将兴趣和对内科医生的热爱作为自己展现的重点。文章所采用的逻辑主线是以时间为顺序，将自己对所申请领域的认识和理解的变化过程一步一步地展现了出来，对医学的热爱也一层层升华。通篇没有华丽的辞藻，但很朴实准确的表达了意思。字里行间把自己对于专业的热爱非常强烈非常明确呈现在文章中。逻辑思路清晰，第一段提出论点，接下来三段进行论证，最后一段首尾呼应，作者整篇文章都将自己对于专业的热爱作为描述的重点，更为成功的是这种感情的表述非常具体和形象，通过具体的事例具体的经历引申出自己的感受。因此给读者的感觉是非常真实，非常具体。将自己在每个阶段的认识逐个描写，清晰的将自己认识的加深过程展现给录取委员会，整篇文章因此条理性非常好。文章除了着力刻画作者对专业的热爱，对专业的认识，同时还较好的呈现了作者的实习经历和教学经历。作为医学专业，对专业的热爱，对病人的关心是成为一名合格内科医生的基础，因此把这个作为文章写作重点是非常好的。

译文：

当医生的父亲

父亲是我们小镇的内科医生，我的母亲经常向我详述关于我跟随父亲到病人家里出诊的往事。在发现一名妇女腹部肿胀疼痛后，他开始为她的腹部做检查 – 这时他发现有两支小手在模仿自己。我对医疗保健非常感兴趣。然而，因为我完成了高中并且进入大学后，我对这一点产生了疑义。我的成长见证了我父亲为了他的事业而遭受的艰辛，根据保险规则为病人提供充分的医疗保障长时间困扰着他。另外，我想知道我是否真正地想要致力于医学事业，或者是否我只是简单情痴地仿效我的父亲。的确，我有三个直系亲属在医学，我感到我很自然的沉迷于这个职业。然而今天，我逐渐意识到我不仅仅沉迷于医学 -- 我很情愿的爱上了这个行业。

有一个深刻的记忆经常浮现在我的脑海，当我为病人提供护理时，无论多细微的，我都感觉我是在家。作为救生员，我有机会几次提供急救，并且我非常清楚的记得这么一次经历。在特别艰苦的二年级结束的夏天，老师留给我许多问题去思考，包括医学是否真的是我最佳的职业。后来的一个下午，当我在监视一个游泳池的时候，看到一个女孩从滑水道滑下的时候与另一位游泳者撞到了一起，她带着惊恐和害怕挣扎着出了水面。我赶忙冲了过去，我让她保持了镇定并且仔细检查了她的右腿，我突然有那么一个熟悉的感受：这就是我的职业。迄今，生活中没有什么比我那天为Marie在水池边提供救助来的自然。此后，在过去二年中，我一直在寻找机会为其他人提供护理。去年，我完成了我的训练并且获得了紧急救护师证书，只在最近，我开始跟随Orange County Rescue Squad做了一名志愿者。有机会积极地参与住院病人护理给了我极大的满足并且进一步巩固了我献身医疗领域的想法。

为了能在医院学会更多关于医疗保健的知识，我在妇女医院的北卡罗来纳大学常驻OB/GYN诊所做了一名志愿者。在这里，护士和医生拿出了业余时间来向我讲述他们的规程和治疗过程，而我也积极的参与到了在护理患者的行列中。我在去年有了测血压、体重和病史的经验。我也跟随Lois Aronson博士在产房度过了难忘的一个晚上。在这期间，我观察了二次分娩和二次外科手术，并且我也学会如何检查骨盆和胎儿心跳。然而，整体当志愿者期间，我最大的收获就是有机会见证Aronson博士在正常产前检查时对病人的周道和体贴。当留意了她出众的交流能力后，我也学会了更加真诚和体贴的与患者交谈。

为了提高我的实践能力，同时也是为我今后作医师做准备，我把精力都投入到了严格的学习准备当中，因为我认为那是胜任一个出色医师的基础。回顾我的大学时代，一段最令人愉快的经历浮现在我的脑海： 在UNC一个初级生物实验室承担两个学期的教学工作。 作为讲师，我毎学期负责25名学生的实验室指导，这段经历教我成为一个于易于沟通的领导者。而且，我从帮助我的学生达到他们的目标的过程中感受到了快乐，更反映出我对服务事业的热爱。

我的母亲总经常说，“除非你别无选择，否则不要当医生”。 我认为我真正开始懂得了她的意思。 我知道成为医师需要经过一个艰苦而漫长的过程。我曾经在我自己的家见证了医学的实质，也曾经和一个值班30个小时，疲惫不堪的医学院学生交流过。 我也知道我值得为它做些事。没有什么能比成为一个医生来为我的病人提供高质量的医疗服务而让我感到快乐。我把医学院看作我实现人生目标的一级不可获缺的石阶。