文书点评：匆忙的“行者”（Frequent Mover）

Frequent Mover

My dolls used to fall ill quite frequently, and it was my job to take care of them. At four years old, at my grandparents’ house in Holguin, I played doctor. Back then, I knew that I liked syringes and medical utensils. I liked the feeling of responsibility when I used them and the care that had to be used when prescribing “medicine.” Even then, I felt that it was my duty to care for the health of others, and today that spirit has not changed -- but it has evolved.

Having lived in four countries with cultures as different as the seasons of the year, I have come to see that the poverty-stricken of the world need physicians more than ever. Today, I hope to build on my scientific education and my experiences in medicine to become one such physician.
At age five I moved with my parents to the Russian city of Dubna, where I lived for ten years. Growing up in Russia allowed me to develop both a great sensitivity towards people and an everlasting interest in science. The Russian people in my neighborhood held a great respect for their past and their culture. My interaction with these individuals encouraged me to develop a sense of gratefulness for what I had been given and to resolve to give back to society somehow. At the time, however, I had not realized that medicine could be a career of service. When I returned with my parents to Cuba at age fifteen, however, the poverty there showed me precisely how hard physicians work and how much they give. In horrendous conditions, these professionals gave themselves completely to curing the sick, with the only reward being the satisfaction of fulfilling their duty. Such images impressed upon me the intense yet fulfilling nature of work in medical care.

Three years later, I returned to Russia and found that I would be unable to continue with my studies due to lack of funding. I had no choice but to enter the workforce. With my fluency in multiple languages, I was able to find a job in the Czech Republic with Condor East. Still just twenty years old, I moved yet again. The years I spent in Prague's business world were filled with a variety of characters from different cultures, and my work allowed me to develop necessary communication skills. Nevertheless, I yearned for a career that would also give me the chance to help the underprivileged. Shortly thereafter, the most important event of my time in Prague took place, one that would change my perspective forever.

On Christmas night my grandmother suffered a heart attack. She was taken to Staromestka Hospital, a Catholic hospital where nuns of a nearby convent provided free care for elderly people. If I have ever felt the presence of God, it was at that hospital, for I had never seen care given with so much devotion. My appreciation for those doctors and nurses and for the environment they created at that hospital remains immense to this day. As my grandmother's condition stabilized, I came to realize the nobility of medical professionals. From that point forward, I could only aspire to join that special community of people myself. Although I ultimately lost my grandmother, I still feel fortunate -- I had the unique chance to observe medicine from a highly humanitarian perspective, an experience that has shaped my values since.

Finally, in 1997 Condor invited me to work for them in Miami. I welcomed the opportunity and saw it as a chance to move to a country with new possibilities, where I could perhaps finally acquire my education in biological science. I had lived in Miami for several months when I figured out how to begin college. During two years at Miami-Dade, I developed my goals for the years to come, and my energetic studies enabled me to transfer to Yale. The transfer process proved challenging, as I had to complete all of the requirements for my molecular biology major in half the usual time. Indeed, the first semester did prove difficult, but I experienced continuous progress with every term. Eventually, I became comfortable enough with the course work that I moved past my classroom education and performed laboratory research on the immunohistochemical characterization of the new gene SSDP. My interaction with a wonderful biologist in the lab proved rewarding, and I found the scientific part of the job extremely interesting.

Today, I hope to redouble my efforts to provide patient care to the ill by building on my diverse past. Having grown up amidst the backdrop of communism, both in Russia and in Cuba, I have a broad perspective on humanitarianism. Indeed, I have remained persistent to learn, no matter what my surroundings. Moving a number of times from one country to another, facing new circumstances and challenges, only confirmed my aspiration to become a physician. At this point in my life, I have a clear understanding of where I will be most useful and happy.

点评：

文章尝试塑造一个从小就有志于关怀他人健康，富人道主义精神，对于医疗事业不懈追求的形象。通过看似零碎的片断，我们可以隐约感受到这个形象。然而这个形象并不非常突出，原因在于文章涉及了太多的素材，从而导致每一素材都不能深入描写。

作者企图通过辗转于多国的经历表达“在四个国度感受了如四季般迥异的文化后，我最终发现，被贫穷所折磨的人们比以往任何时候更需要医生的关怀”这样一个观点，然而，由于对细节表现不足，以致此观点略显牵强。

总体来说，文章花了绝大部分的篇幅在叙述个人价值观，而几乎没有涉及学术方面的思考。这种写法并不适用于每一个申请人。

译文：

匆忙的“行者”

过去，我的洋娃娃总是生病，因此照料她们就成了我的工作。四岁大的时候，在祖父母Holguin的家里，我扮演“医生”。自此,我发现自己喜欢针筒及医疗器具，因为我喜欢使用它们时的责任感以及开处方时必备的关切之心。也是从那时开始，我感到照料他人的健康是我的职责，而且直到今天，这种信念也没有改变—反而越发坚定。在四个国度感受了如四季般迥异的文化后，我最终发现，被贫穷所折磨的人们比以往任何时候更需要医生的关怀。今天，我希望凭借我的科学知识与医护经验去努力成为一名这样的医生。

五岁那年，我跟随父母移居到俄罗斯的DUBNA市。一呆，就是十年。在俄罗斯成长的经历，使我培养了与人交流的敏锐触觉，以及对于科学的持久热情。我的俄罗斯邻居们对他们的历史和文化都非常引以为荣。与他们的接触中，我建立起了对我所拥有的一切的感激之情，以及去回馈社会的决心。可惜，当时我并未意识到医务工作会是一份为人民服务的职业。然而，当我十五岁那年和父母重新回到古巴时，当地的贫穷状况，清楚地告诉我，医务工作者们工作的艰辛以及巨大的付出——在那种可怕的环境中，他们全身心地投入到了治疗病患的工作中，唯一的回报就是彻实履行工作职责所带来的满足感。这番景象，让我对高度紧张却又能带来巨大成就感的医务工作铭记于心。

三年后，我回到俄罗斯，由于缺钱，我不得不中断学业。别无选择之下，我开始找工作。凭借我流利的多国语言，我在Czech Republic with Condor East找到了一份工作。才20岁，我又再一次迁居。在布拉格商业世界里度过的那些年，我接触各种各样的人，他们有着不同的文化背景，这样的工作使我磨练了必要的沟通技巧。可是，我渴望着获得一份职业，使我有机会帮助社会底层的人民。打那以后不久，对我有着最重要的意义的事件在布拉格发生了，它永远地改变了我的看法。

在圣诞夜，我的祖母心脏病发。她被送到了Staromestka医院——一个天主教医院，附近修道院的修女们在这里为年老体弱者提供免费的医疗服务。如果说我曾经感觉到上帝的存在，那么就是在那个医院内，因为我从未看到过有如此尽心尽力地照料病患的人们。我非常感激那些医生护士们以及他们在医院内所营造的环境，时至今日这种感觉依然强烈。随着祖母的病情逐渐稳定，我意识到医护工作的崇高。在那之前，我只是非常单纯地想加入这一特殊团体而已。尽管我最终失去了祖母，我仍然感到幸运——我得到了一个独特的机会，使我从人道主义的高度，审视了医学，这次经历促使我往后的价值观的形成。

最后，在1997年，Condor邀请我到Miami工作。我欣然接受这个机会并期待在这个新国度有新的发展。在这里，我或许可以最终获得在生物科学方面的教育。当我了解到如何开始大学的学习时，我已经在Miami生活了几个月了。在Miami-Dade的两年里，我找到了接下来几年的发展目标。积极的学习使我转学到了YALE。转学的过程是富挑战性的，因为我要完成所有分子生物学的必修课程，而却只有正常学习过程的一半时间。事实上，第一学期相当艰难，但我在往后的每个学期都获得了持续的进步。最终，我适应了学习上的压力。我不再局限于课堂内的学习，而参与到SSDP新基因的免疫组织化实验室的研究当中。我与实验室内一流的生物学家的接触使我获益良多，我发现这些工作中的有关科学的部分非常有趣。

今天，我希望借助我的丰富的经历，加倍努力为病患们提供耐心的照料。在俄罗斯及古巴的共产主义的环境中长大，我对于人道主义有一个清晰的了解。事实上，无论环境如何，我一直在坚持学习。多次在国家间迁移往返，多个新环境和新挑战，这一切的经历只是坚定了我要成为一个医生的决心。而在此刻，我清楚知道将在哪里找到我的价值与快乐！