文书点评：医学专业申请文书——迟来的梦

To this day, the very thought of red oak bark tea nauseates me; my mouth still retains that bitter flavor. As a child in a rural community in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, even the threat of home remedies like red oak bark tea was usually sufficient to scare the sickness out of me. Once, when my mother administered powdered alum to my sore throat, I concluded that my family must have had enough of me. They assured me, however, that alum was not supposed to make you gag quite that much.

I never considered becoming a doctor as a child. My family could rarely afford the luxury of proper medical treatment. Thus, unpleasant home remedies were my earliest experiences of healthcare, and I cannot say that they were exactly prepossessing. Nor was my opinion unusual in my environment: in my rural farming town, doctors were the people you went to when all your family remedies had failed, and you couldn’t get out of bed to go to work anymore. Medicine was seen less as a way to improve your quality of life than as an expensive method of postponing the inevitable.

I could not point to a specific date as the day I decided that I wanted to commit my life to medicine. Rather, it was a gradual realization that grew out of my love for biology and my sense that the path I was taking was not meant for me.

Merely attending junior college was an enormous achievement for me, as none of my family had ever graduated from high school. Initially, I intended to earn my associate's degree in biology. Unfortunately, my family’s difficult financial situation prevented me from following my interest in this field, for I soon had to find a full-time job to help out at home. I continued taking classes at night, but unfortunately, no lab courses were offered in the evening. Finally, after four years, I completed the requirements for an associate’s degree in economics. That was when I realized that I wanted to explore biology further. At moments, I even began to think of attending medical school, only to dismiss these daydreams as no more plausible than winning the lottery.

I soon married and entered a very difficult period in my life. Trying to keep my husband happy and my marriage together, after earning my associate's degree I quit the job I had enjoyed since high school graduation. I proceeded to change jobs every six months or so for the next two years before separating from my husband. When I knew there would be no reconciliation, I decided to follow the dream I had put on hold, and I applied to the institution I now attend to study biology. Being a doctor may not have been a lifelong dream for me, but it is my calling.

点评：

文章思路：

1.以小时侯的个人经历为线索引出医学。

2.第二段是转折部分，点明对生物产生了兴趣。

3.以后的个人经历。

文章开始时引出医学所用的例子很吸引人。如果作者能更好地把握住这条主线，继续阐述思想发生变化的过程，即从对医学不感兴趣发展到喜欢上医学这个转折上能作很好的说明，就更加有感染力了。但是在这方面作者没有作很好的铺垫，在没有任何基础上却对生物产生了兴趣，令人无所适从。因为没有突出为什么对生物感兴趣，从而对申请生物专业就显得目的不明确了。

另外，在叙述以后的个人经历时出现了材料堆砌的现象，作者像在记录流水帐一样把经历写了出来，看完之后仍然没有给人一种感觉：强烈希望pursue医学，即是你对学习医学做过的努力，你对这个领域的认识。因为没有对枝节进行筛选，所以削弱了文章的整体感觉。总体来说，文章还有值得进一步修改完善的地方。

译文：

迟来的梦

至今，我仍记得那种恶心的红橡木皮茶的味道；苦味依然保留在我的口中。我的童年是在洛矶山脉的山麓中度过的。甚至连诸如黑橡木皮茶的家居补救也会把我吓得失魂落魄。一旦我母亲将明矾的粉末灌进我疼痛的喉咙时，尽管他们安慰我这些明矾不会太难咽，但我已经认定他们一定是受够了我才会这样对我。

我从来都没想过要当一位医生。因为我的家人无法承担恰当的药物治疗的昂贵费用，所以不愉快的家居补救就成了最初的保健经历，我实在是无法说我对它有好感。我的观点其实在我的生活环境里是很平常的：在我那从事劳作的农村里，除非家居补救确实派不上用场，人们才会去看医生，并且你不能离开床而去工作。医学被看成了是一种不可避免的昂贵治疗而不是能改善生活质量的方法。

我已经忘了是哪天起我决定以医学看成是我的终身事业。准确地说，我对生物的喜爱应该是逐渐形成的。而我感觉与我之前经历的路程相比，医学才是我真正想从事的。

对于我来说，就是进入初中都已经是个很了不起的成就了，因为我家里没有人是中学毕业。最初，我希望能获得生物专业的副学士学位。不幸的是，因为家境贫寒的缘故使我必须出去找份全职工作来养活家人，而无法再把我的兴趣进行下去。我继续上夜校，但可惜的是，晚上是没有提供实验课可以让我学习的。四年后，我读完了经济专业，那时我才意识到我更希望能深入学习生物。有一段时间我甚至开始想进入医学院，但这些白日梦就像嬴彩票那样遥遥无期。

随后我很快就结婚了，那是一段我一生中最难过的日子。为了令我丈夫开心和使婚姻和睦，我在完成副学士课程后就辞掉了高中毕业后就一直喜爱的工作。分居之前的两年间我每隔六个月就换一份工作。当我意识到这段婚姻无法挽回时，我决定继续追寻我的梦想，申请到研究机构学生物。虽然成为医生可能不是我终身的梦想，但这是我的追求。