文书点评：逃离——Runway

My heart pounded as I pressed my head against the cool glass of the front door. It was a blistering 99 degrees in Florida, but the air-conditioned glass provided my flushed cheek with instant relief. I had finally made it to this place I had heard so much about from my friends on the street. It was a shelter for runaways that helped teenagers in crisis, and I was one of them. Who would have thought, to look at me, that I would end up there? Hadn’t I always been invincible?

I had left home shortly before my sixteenth birthday. Standing on the front steps of the shelter, staring down at my grungy sneakers and the oversized sweatshirt that seemed somewhat impractical in the Florida heat, I realized, perhaps for the first time, that I would never be returning home. I would never go to my senior prom or school football games or movies with my friends on a Saturday night. And I would never know the feeling of returning to the safety and comfort of my parents’ house.

Of course, movies and proms and other pleasures of carefree adolescence were the furthest thing from my mind while I was growing up. Instead, I was consumed with worry and determined to acquire basic survival skills. When I did leave home at sixteen, I traveled all the way from my mother’s house in Connecticut to the shelter in Florida. What would possess a child to leave at that age and attempt to live the life of an adult, with all of the real-world responsibilities that go along with adulthood? Without getting into too much detail, I will simply admit that life in my home was unbearable. Though my decision to leave may have seemed dangerous or foolish in the eyes of society, it was, for me, the only way to live a life free of abuse. “I made it, ” I thought to myself as a woman opened the shelter door, though making it didn’t feel quite like I thought it would. I was still just a lonely sixteen-year-old living off of McDonald’s hamburgers and trudging along in my Converse high-tops. Where was I going from here?

After entering the shelter, I spoke to a counselor who asked if she could call my parents to let them know I was safe. I eventually consented, but only because she promised not to disclose my whereabouts. She would merely assure my parents that I was alive and well. After the counselor made the call, I was struck with panic, certain that I would be found and promptly returned to my parents’ “care.” I left the shelter immediately, phoned my biological father in Boston, and took a greyhound that evening to see him. I stayed with him for two weeks while I enrolled in high school, got an after-school job, and found a roommate to share a less-than-desirable apartment in a less-than-desirable neighborhood. I was inexperienced and ill-equipped to handle life as an adult, but at least I was on my own. I could finally exhale.

Needless to say, working and attending school full-time proved to be quite an undertaking. I was stunned by the bills that started arriving in the mail: phone bills, electric bills, water bills -- it had never occurred to me that I’d have to pay for those luxuries! Looking back, I feel immense gratitude to my landlord. While he received his rent payments on a consistent basis, they were always late.

Once I started living on my own, I was determined to succeed. Rent payments, bills, and other adult concerns were nothing compared to the fear I had felt while living in my parents’ home. So I continued to build my life, keeping a job, paying rent, and eventually finishing high school. Shortly after graduation, I signed up for evening classes at Northeastern University. But it was not yet my time. I didn’t possess the maturity to study effectively; instead, I held down a consistent job, grew up a little more, and contemplated my future. Though I’d suffered some hard knocks, I was always hopeful and optimistic that I would, eventually, have a successful career. It was some years later, through careful introspection that I decided to pursue a career in law. I enrolled in college in the evening, working during the day to support myself.

Now that my college education is almost complete, I am more determined than ever to fulfill my long-term goals. My passion is, naturally, family law. I hope to one day serve as an advocate for children who, like me, were not given unconditional support from their own families. Though my own colorful past was never easy, I am grateful that it brought me to this wonderful place. I can now say, without hesitation, that I know where I am headed; I am no longer in search of a shelter or a path for my life.

点评：

这可以看做是另一个版本的《成长的烦恼》以及主人公如何克服越过这段迷茫的时期最终找到目标的故事。作者和我们分享了他的成长历程，以及这段经历对他之后人生目标的影响。

文章大体可以分为两个部分，前四段非常生动的描述了作者16岁时离家出走的经历，包括行动、谈话和想法，具有镜头感的文字一瞬间就吸引了读者；后三段则是一般性的记叙，交待自己边读书边工作，而后决定申请法学，成为家庭法领域专家的目标。可以说前面的长篇经历就是为了后面目标的确立做下的铺垫。

写法上，作者将大部分笔墨花在了年少时的经历上，虽然读者并不能知道他到底是为了什么事情不得不离家出走——只能从最后一段知道是“没有从家里得到无条件支持”，但是这并不妨碍读者体会到作者迷茫、不安、恐惧然而又非此不能为的无助，并且留下深深的印象。这与作者流畅的语言和真实的情感是分不开的；而后在谈到独立后的生活，口吻就变得比较平和、冷静，表现出作者在心智和阅历上的成熟，最后自然而然的推出自己的申请目标，有水到渠成之感。

这样的写法很有感染力，让人充分认识到申请者的性格和思想。然而缺陷也是存在的。在于缺乏专业性的表述，并且一处理不好就会有头重脚轻之感。所以写作这样体裁的文章一定要慎重。

译文：

逃离

把头抵在前门冰冷的玻璃上，我的心在狂跳。佛罗里达现在的气温高达99华度，但被空调吹得沁凉的玻璃立刻让我发烫的脸颊舒服下来了。我最终离开了那些狐朋狗友，来到了这个我一直渴望来的地方。这里是一个离家出走者的庇护站，专门帮助有困难的青少年，而我就是这有困难的青少年之一。看着这样的我，谁会想到我最后竟然会来到这个地方？我不是总是保持不败的吗？

16岁生日过后不久，我就离开了家里。站在庇护所前门的台阶上，低头望着我那脏兮兮的球鞋还有过于宽松的T-Shirt；在佛罗里达这样炎热的天气里，穿这样的衣服明显不合适， 我首次意识到，我将可能不再回家了。我可能将无法参加高中的舞会、学校的足球比赛、甚至周六晚上和朋友出去看电影。而我也将永远不能感觉回到家里的那种安全感和舒适感。

当然，随着我的成长，电影和舞会以及无忧无虑的青春期中一些其它的娱乐活动在我的思想中占的比重逐渐减到最少。我大部分的时间都消耗在了担忧和下定决心如何掌握基本的生存技巧上。到16岁真的要离开妈妈在康维涅狄格州的房子时，我独自闯荡，来到了佛罗里达州的庇护所。到底是什么促使一个孩子在这个年纪离家，尝试去过成人的生活，肩负成人生活所带来的现实世界中的所有责任呢？我不愿意讲太多的细节，只能承认在家里的生活实在无法忍受。尽管我离家出走的决定在社会的眼中是一个危险或者愚蠢的决定，但是对于我来说，这是唯一可以摆脱虐待的方法。“我成功了！”当一个女人打开庇护所的门时，我心里想着，虽然和我预想的感觉很不一样。我还是一个孤独的16岁少年，把麦当劳的汉堡当正餐来吃，穿着匡威高帮运动鞋。我要从这里出发去哪里？

进入庇护所以后，我和一个顾问谈了话，她问我可不可以给我的父母打个电话报平安。我最后同意了，但前提是她不能泄露我的行踪。她仅仅是告诉我的父母我还活着也还好。当那个顾问打完电话以后，我陷入深深的恐惧中，我肯定会被找到然后会被迅速地送回到我父母的“关爱”中。于是我马上离开庇护所，打电话给我在波士顿的生父，然后坐上傍晚的灰狗长途客车去看望他。我在他那里住了2个星期，这段期间，我重新入读高中，找到了一份工作，也找到了一个室友合租一个不甚理想的套间，有一个不甚理想的邻居。我还没有经验也还没有准备好去适应成人的生活，但至少我现在有了自己的生活。我终于可以松一口气了。

不用说，同时工作和学习是一项多么庞大的工程。我被涌入邮箱的大量帐单吓坏了：电话单，电费单，水费单-我从来没有意识到我要为这些花销付费。现在回想过去，我真的很感谢我的房东。他是收房租时一并收取这些费用的，但是我总是很迟才交。

一旦我开始了靠自己去生活，我就决心要成功。房租，账单还有其它成人世界的规则都无法和我还住在父母家里时的恐惧可比。所以我继续着我的生活，工作、付房租，直到最后完成高中学业。毕业后不久，我报名参加了东北大学的夜校。但时机未到，我还没有成熟到可以有效地自学。于是我找到一份固定的工作，觉得自己又成长了一点。同时，我开始思考未来的事情。在此期间，虽然也遭受到一些重大打击，但是我总是充满希望，乐观地相信我最终会事业有成。这样过了几年，经过深思熟虑，我决定要从事法律方面的职业。因此我白天工作以支付学费，晚上去读夜校以学习知识。

现在我的大专教育基本结束了，所以我比以前更想实现我的长期目标。我感兴趣的领域自然是家庭法。我希望有一天可以成为这个领域的专家，帮助像我当年那样，没有从家里得到无条件支持的孩子。尽管我经历丰富，备尝艰辛，但我仍很感激有这样的过去，因为它把我带到了一个美好的地方。我现在可以毫不犹豫地说，我清楚知道自己的目的地，我不再需要为我的生活寻找一个庇护所，或是一条道路。