医学专业申请文书——俄罗斯移民

In 1979 in the Soviet city of Odessa on the Black Sea, a young man confronted a problem that would forever alter the course of his existence. This 17-year-old Jewish man, who wanted most to become a doctor, was denied the possibility of admission to medical school because of his religion. It could have been an end to a dream.

My determination to become a physician, and my parents’ support of that ambition, turned our lives upside down. We applied for a visa to leave Russia; while we waited, my parents and older brother were not allowed to work, and all of us were followed by the KGB. When we finally arrived in America in 1980,we had to make our way to Seattle without funds, friends, or command of English. My father, who is an engineer, was reduced to working as a plumber, while I began each day at 5 a.m. unloading trucks. Life was a struggle, but we were all sustained by a dream: my goal of studying to become a doctor.

Within a year of my arrival here, after attending night school to learn the language, I was able to obtain a job as an X-ray orderly at a local hospital. In this position, and later as an admitting aide, I was able over a period of three years to learn much more about American medicine. I had extensive contact with patients, doctors, nurses, and administrators and found I was able to relate well to each group. I saw suffering, healing, death, and all of the other constants that make up any hospital environment. I had an opportunity to observe surgeries, from mastectomies to hysterectomies and bypasses, and to see firsthand the importance of positive doctor-patient interactions. I was fascinated by everything I saw and became more convinced than ever that I could one day make my finest contribution as a physician.
When I first entered college, I had enormous problems with English, especially scientific terminology, and my GPA was an unremarkable 2.84. However, as I mastered the language, my grades steadily improved; in fact, in the last three quarters I’ve earned a 3.8 GPA.

Beginning in 1984,I worked as a volunteer in the autopsy room at my university’s pathology department, amassing more than 500 hours’ experience. Just as the hospital provided me with a chance to observe diagnosis and treatment, the autopsy room gave me a chance to find out what goes wrong, what causes death. In that room it was possible for me to see death, smell it, touch it. I prepared organs for examination by medical students as well as assisted in autopsies and cleaning up. I was even awarded a highly sought-after scholarship in recognition of my work. . . .

I first became interested in medicine in high school, when I sat in on my brother’s medical school lectures and later accompanied him on hospital rounds. My commitment to becoming a doctor, and my excitement over the prospect of being able to serve others in this capacity, is what has driven me and kept me going in the face of so many obstacles since my departure from Russia. Now, with my goal in sight and so many recent experiences reaffirming my passion for medicine, I know that all of the dedication and sacrifice have been worthwhile. I am eager to begin my medical studies, eager to meet the challenges I know they will present.

点评：

又是一个标准的5大段，很标准的英文小文章。

第一段，开头。说了一下自己苦难的开端。大概叙述了一下自己的经历，因为他的时间比较敏感，所以更多的引入了一些政治同情分。以当时的情况这是一个很好的开头。

第二段，过度。对于自己的经历进行进一步的引入。在俄罗斯受到的待遇，初到美国遇到的困难。

第三段，主体引入。主要通过自己在美国一年之内的经历，当然了主要是专业方面的，来引入自己对专业的兴趣，以及自己学习的精神和能力。

第四段，主体。通过对自己在学院里的学习经历，自己的成绩如何的成长。自己的在专业方面的经历背景，以及自己获得的奖励，通过这些描述以达到让读者看到作者专业潜力的目的。

第五段，结尾。对全文进行了一次综合性的总结，升华，告诉读者自己为什么想学习医学，自己的职业目标是什么。

优点很多。有一点，作者在写着篇文章的时候，很审时度势的选择了美国人当时的大众心理，很好的运用了自己政治加分。可能有很多人都有同样经历，但是作者在整个叙述的过程当中文字拿捏得非常的准确，很能让人信服，可以说两者一迭加就注定了这篇文章的成功。我相信作者是在美国生活了很长时间後做的申请。因为他可以很好的驾驭整篇文章的结构。我上一些英文写作课的时候，美国的老师经常会告诉我们，英文应该和你们的母语表达的形式不一样，所以你要适应英文的写作，要记住文章最好的结构就是5大段。

但是我觉得有一点，在叙述自己专业背景的时候可以用更多些的笔墨就好了。我个人认为如果有更多一些的专业成分在里面的话会让整片文章看起来更饱满一些。再有一点，我觉得这个作者的有一些政治同情分在里面不值得我们大家去模仿。毕竟时代不一样了，冷战随着苏联的解体已经结束，世界也不会再有冷战了。所以他的模式你看看就好，你即使模仿你也没有了时代背景，要知道美国人也是与时俱进的。

译文:

俄罗斯移民

在 1979 年，在黑海上的苏联 Odessa 市中，一个年轻人面对了一个会永远地改变他命运的问题。 一个17岁的犹太人，仅仅是因为他的宗教信仰而被医学院拒之门外。这对于他的梦来说也许诗歌句点。

我决心成为一个内科医生，并且我的父母支持我这样的决定，这样可以停止我们混乱的生活。然后我们申请了签证想要离开俄罗斯，当我们等待签证的时候，我的父母和我的大哥不允许工作，并且我们天天会被克格勃跟踪。当我们在1980年抵达美国的时候，我们必须在西雅图必须要解决没有钱，朋友和英文基础。 我的父亲是一个工程师,但是不得不去当一名水管工人，并且每天早上5点就开始工作去卸载卡车。生活是竞争，但是我们都有同样的一个梦: 我要成为一名医生的梦想。

在我到达美国的这一年时间里，在进入夜校学习语言之后，我在一所当地的医院获得了一个作为 X光室的小工这样的工作。 在这个职位中, 和稍后的副手的职位，我有了一个三年的机会去学习更多的美国医疗方面的知识。我有了和病人、医生、护士和管理者广泛的联系并且我可以和他们保持很好的关系。我看见了苦难、康复、死亡和其他所有组成医院环境的常数。我有了一个机会观察手术,从 乳房切除到子宫切除, 并且直接地看到了医生和病人之间互动的重要性。我被我所看到的每一件事情所迷倒，并且我更相信我有一天可以作为一个内科医生并作出最大的贡献。

当我最初进入了学院的时候，我在英文方面有很大的问题，尤其在专业词汇，并且我的平均学分也很平常只有2.84。然而, 当我战胜了语言问题时, 我的成绩有了显著和稳定的提高。事实上, 在最后3/4的时间里我的成绩已经达到了3.8。在 1984 年初，我在大学的病理学部门的验尸房中担任志愿者, 我得到了500多小时的工作经。正如医院提供一个给我观察诊断和治疗的机会，验尸房给了我一个机会发现什么出了毛病,引起死亡。在那间房间中，给了我机会看到死亡,感觉它，解除它。我为医科学生的考试准备了器官就像我协助验尸并清理尸体一样。我被授予了奖学金，在我的工作被认可了之后......

我最早是在高中的时候对医学产生了兴趣，当我在听我哥哥的医学院演讲时和后来我跟随他取医院里轮转的时候。 我许诺我会成为一个医生，并且想到用我的能力可以为其他的人服务我就激动, 这就是那个可以让我在离开俄罗斯之后不断战胜困难保持前进的动力。现在, 我眼中的目标和我的丰富经历让我保持着对医学的热情，我知道我之前所有的努力和牺牲都是值得的。我期待我的医学课程，我期待这些挑战并且我知道他们一定会来......