文书点评：病中的爷爷——Sick Grandfather

From massaging his arm to simply keeping him company, I tried to assist my grandfather in any possible way after a stroke had left his left arm partially paralyzed. As I observed the multitude of treatments and therapies he underwent to revitalize this arm, I often found my eight-year-old mind wishing that I possessed the medical skill and expertise to help him. In a way, then, my grandfather was my first patient.

I harbored this curiosity towards medicine throughout my junior high and high school years and began to seriously consider making it my career when I entered college. Due to this abiding interest in science, I decided to major in biology and passionately engrossed myself in the department's courses. Seeking practical experience in the field, I joined a research team studying the developmental effects of Ataxia-telangiectasia, a recessive genetic disease characterized by growth retardation, abnormal germ cell development, immune defects, and a high incidence of tumorgenesis. As part of my independent study project, I cloned a specific version of the p53 gene. Through this endeavor, not only did I realize the replication, caution, and patience integral to the research process, but I also garnered an understanding of the ways in researchers can employ science to study clinical problems.

Although science has always fascinated me, it is the interpersonal interaction that primarily draws me to the medical field. This persistent desire to help people culminated in concrete action three years ago when I assumed my first volunteer position in the emergency room of Mercy Hospital. My duties there included assisting with patient admissions and discharges, serving as a liaison between the busy staff and visitors, stocking supplies, and delivering patients and materials to various areas of the hospital. When not directly assisting the staff, I listened attentively to the patients' concerns and helped to alleviate their fears.

Such interactions with patients at Mercy Hospital reconfirmed my aspirations of becoming a physician and encouraged my decision to begin another volunteer position. As a volunteer at Vitas Hospice, I have relished the opportunity to provide companionship to terminally ill patients. I have always enjoyed spending time with the elderly; nevertheless, I never cease to be amazed by the vast amount of knowledge and life experiences they relate to me. For example, Mrs. A -- a remarkable102-year-old lady -- enlightened me with the details of Black Tuesday and her personal memories concerning the state of the country when the Titanic sank. Another especially memorable experience occurred on a fishing trip with Mr. C. After the doctors diagnosed him with COPD, Mr. C.'s last request was for a volunteer to take him fishing. As I still vividly recall the jubilant excitement on Mr. C's face as he cast his line repeatedly into the open water, my memories are tinged with the bittersweet reminder that Mr. C passed away three days after our fishing trip.

I always imagined that I could learn much from my patients as a doctor. My experiences at Vitas Hospice have confirmed such inclinations and have infinitely increased my love of medicine. I thus remain determined to achieve my goal of becoming a physician. I have taken the MCAT twice, having earned high science scores the first time but having desired to improve my score on the Verbal Reasoning section. Although my verbal score did improve on the second test, I feel that my performance on this section still reflects the fact that English is not my first language. I did not learn to speak English until my parents and I immigrated to the United States when I was ten years old. Following their examples, I have since learned the value of hard work and have successfully earned straight A's during the last three years of my college career.

I am confident that I will achieve my goal of becoming a physician. Through my vast array of volunteer experiences and conversations with my uncles and other physicians, I have accrued a solid understanding of what a position in the medical field entails. While I understand that a career in medicine requires a great deal of work, I am certain that I possess more than the requisite commitment and stamina to meet the challenge. Having reflected extensively on the comfort I have provided to and the knowledge I have gained from patients in the past -- from the time I took my grandfather's seemingly massive arm in my own inexperienced eight-year-old hands, to the day I recently accompanied Mr. C. on his final fishing trip -- I can now look forward to gaining a greater understanding of the technical aspects of medicine and further cultivating my interpersonal in the future.

点评：

这篇短文介绍了自己的在医学方向的一些职业经历，结合自己对未来的职业发展方向和兴趣做出了进一步的阐述和期望，表现了作者在一些方面的热情。使读者可以清楚的了解到作者的所要表达的写作意图。文章开头就以自己的爷爷经历为启示，说明自己在工作中的责任和收获。文章的结尾再次提到了爷爷的事情，前后得到了呼应，使阅读者有了一个总结性的感受，并且了解到作者是一个很有工作经历的人和深厚的专业热情的人。文章条理安排得很不错。

译文：

病中的爷爷

从按摩他的胳膊到简单地保留他公司, 我设法用任一个可能的方式协助我的由于中风之后导致左胳膊部分地麻痹的祖父。当我观察了他使这条胳膊复苏的许多治疗和疗法, 我经常发现我的八年的心愿是我拥有医疗技巧和专业技术帮助他。在某一方面, 然后, 我的祖父是我的第一名患者。

我有了这对医学求知欲导致在我的初中和高中岁月过程中当我进入大学的时候开始认真地考虑让它成为我的未来的职业。由于这遵守的兴趣在科学上, 我决定了选择生物专业，并全力地学习系里的课程。寻找在这个领域的实践经验, 我参加了研究小组，这个小组研究的是不整齐毛细管扩张、由于成长阻滞导致的一种隐性基因疾病, 反常生殖细胞发展、免疫缺陷, 和瘤的高发生的发展作用。作为我的独立研究项目的一部分, 我克隆了p53 基因的一个具体样式。通过这努力, 我不仅体会复制、小心, 和耐心的对待研究过程,并且获取了理解在研究员能使用科学学习临床的问题。

虽然科学总是使我着迷, 这是主要吸引我的是对医疗领域的人际的相互作用。这个坚持欲帮助人民在具体行动的时候达到了顶点。 三年前当我在慈悲医院急诊室担任了我的第一个志愿者位置。我的责任包括的协助病人入场和放电, 担任在繁忙的职员和访客, 库存供应, 和提供患者和材料对医院的各种各样的区域之间进行连络。当不直接地协助职员, 我会去聆听病人的担忧和帮助他们缓和恐惧。

这样在慈悲医院与患者相互交流再确认成为医师志向并鼓励我的决定开始从事其它志愿者的位置。作为在Vitas收容所一个志愿者, 我有机会陪伴一些患绝症的患者。我总喜欢花时间与年长的人在一起; 然而, 我从未停止被他们浩大的数量和与有我关系的知识生活经验而感到惊奇。例如, 夫人A —— 一个102 岁的夫人——以黑星期二和她的关于当泰坦尼克沉没的时候国家的状态的个人记忆细节启迪我。其它特别难忘的经验发生在与C 先生的一次钓鱼。在医生诊断了他与COPD 之后, C.'先生的最后的请求是让志愿者带他去钓鱼。当我仍然能生动地回忆起当鱼线不断如水时C先生欢腾的兴奋的面孔, 我的记忆仍然淡淡的记得C 先生钓鱼以后的三天逝世带个我的苦甜的提示。

我总想象, 作为医生我能从我的患者学会很多。我在Vitas 收容所的经验证实了这样倾向和无限地增加我对医学的爱。因而我仍然坚定要达到我成为医师的目标。我参加了MCAT 两次, 第一次我获得了科学部分的高分，但我希望提高我在语文逻辑部分的成绩。虽然我的语文部分成绩的确在第二次考试的时候提高了, 我认为, 我的表现在这个部分的成绩仍然体现了英语不是我的第一种语言的事实。知道当我十岁和父母移居到美国的时候我还没有学过英文。用他们的例子, 我后来学会坚苦工作和学习使我成功地赢得了在大学的后三年成绩A等的成绩。

我是自信我将达到我的成为医师的目标。通过大量的志愿者的经验和与我的伯父和其它医师的交谈, 我累积了对在医疗领域坚实理解。当我获悉在医学的事业要求有很多工作, 我肯定, 我拥有更多比必须条件和接受挑战的热情。广泛地反省我对患者提供的舒适和我从前在患者那里获得的知识——从握着我爷爷的表面上结实的胳膊在我自己无经验的八年的手里, 到那天我最近伴随C先生在他最后的钓鱼的时光——我现在可能盼望获取对医学的技术方面的更加深刻的理解和促进培养我的人际关系。