[Prompt: Describe your international and cross-cultural experiences, and how they will uniquely affect the classroom environment.]
Reformed Communist
I am a communist. At least, I once thought I was, and I often told people so in junior high school. In my cluttered locker, a picture of Yuri Andropov hung next to an article from the New York Times featuring Gus Hall, the Chairman of the American Communist Party. While some considered my behavior bizarre, it seemed quite normal to me as a teenager. It took until the day the Soviet premier died and people gave me their condolences that I realized I had gone too far.
It was never the Marxist ideology or revolutionary tracts by Trotsky that actually held my interest, but rather the mystery of events and faces foreign to my quiet suburbia. Alien cities, nations, ideas, governments, art -- anything from overseas piqued my curiosity and inspired fascination. Even though I never lived outside of North America, my deep-rooted interest in and knowledge of the international community will uniquely influence the classroom environment at Fordham.
Now, living in New York City, I no longer have to go to political extremes to experience international culture. Whether riding the subway or walking across Times Square, it is readily apparent that I am living in the largest global community in the world. At Deutsche Bank, I have enjoyed collaborating closely with people at our offices in London, Sydney, Tokyo, Frankfurt, Singapore, Hong Kong, Milan, and São Paolo. Working in this exciting environment, I believe it is essential to understand how other cultures operate and how they affect our immediate world. My appreciation of diversity has also enabled me to communicate effectively with Deutsche Bank employees from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds.
I have learned the necessity of observing global events and come to the conclusion that occurrences abroad deeply affect my life here in New York. Today, the advent of a global community requires everyone to embrace a mixture of people and their ideas. My personal discoveries have improved my insight since my youthful efforts to comprehend the influence of the world around me.
My thirst for knowledge and appreciation of cross-cultural experience will contribute to the classroom atmosphere, adding a unique appreciation of diversity. Witnessing the development of ideas from various experiences and backgrounds will provide a profound understanding and appreciation of other cultures. With intense , I will strive to comprehend the people around me, increasing my knowledge by learning from a wide range of distinct individuals at Fordham.
点评:
文章内容:
该文章从一个全新的角度来谈论自己对跨文化的理解。1)开始谈到了曾经对共产主义的模糊认识,和古怪行为。2)中间,梦想渐渐清晰,原来吸引自己的不是共产主义而是自己本身对外界一个新奇世界的好奇,然后慢慢将重点转到跨文化的交流以及自己从中学到的知识。3)最后对今后在跨文化交流方面的打算。
文章选题:
本文是“介绍经历”类型的文章,但是文章没有选择某一件具体的事或者某一个具体的人来进行阐述,而是自己周围的环境进行一个宏观的说明。比如:自己周围的人,环境,影响。
文章结构:
文章大体可以分为三部分。开头,中间,结尾。在这个过程中,作者对“跨文化”或者“文化交流”认识不断的在加深。大的结构比较清晰,各个部分介绍的东西都是递进的,认识不断加深。
综合点评:
优点:
开头新颖,独特。介绍了自己年少时会共产主义的热衷,下面笔锋一转,原来对共产主义的追求,都源于对外面世界的新奇,想要了解不同的文化之间的差异。宏观上对文章结构的把握还是比较成功的,使文章给人一种整体向前的感觉,过去、现在、将来,都有体现而且渐渐清楚,给人一种拨云见日的感觉。
缺点:
1)文章结构虽然在宏观上把握的不错,但是文章中的一些细节,过度,以及选材方面都有一些欠缺。整个文章所以看起来又点不连贯,有些乱。这样会影响整个文章的表达效果。
2)建议在文章中加入一件具体的事来支持自己的观点,会马上使文章更有内容。
译文:
[描述你的一次国际的或者跨文化的经历,以及它对你的课堂氛围有怎样的影响。]
改良的共产主义者
我是一个共产主义者。至少我曾经这样认为,并且在上初中时我也是这样和别人说的。在我杂乱的衣柜里挂着一张从纽约时代杂志上剪下来的文章,旁边有美国共产党主席Yuri Andropov 的照片。虽然有些人认为我的行为很怪异,但是作为一个青年人,我觉的这很正常。直到前苏联解体那天,人们纷纷送去慰问的时候,我才意识到我已经扯的太远了。
真正勾起我的兴趣的并不是马克思主义理论或者托洛茨基领导的革命队伍,而是我宁静的郊区之外那些神奇的事件和陌生的脸庞。国外的城市、民族、理念、政府、艺术海外的一切都让我产生强烈的好奇心,想要去窥探其中的神秘魅力。
现在,居住在纽约,我再也不需要去参加政治的场合去经历跨文化的交流了。不管是坐地铁还是在Times广场溜达,我都会感觉到我生活在一个全球化的大环境里。在Deutsche银行,我很高兴可以近距离的接触到来自伦敦、悉尼、东京、法兰克福、新加坡、香港、米兰、圣保罗各地的人们。在这种令人兴奋的环境工作,我相信了解各种文化的本身的系统以及它给我们高速发展的世界带来的影响是非常必要的。
我已经认识到对全球发生事件的调查的必要性并总结出一些在国外发生的事件可以深深的影响我在纽约的生活。今天,全球化的出现要求每一个人都接受不同人和他们的观点。我为了解我周围的世界所作的努力以及由此得出的的个人发现让我变得更具洞察力。
我对知识的渴求和对跨文化交流的追求将会为今后或余额课堂气氛带来一定的帮助,也会给课堂的交流带来一定的多样性。了解到不同的文化可以在不同经历、背景交流的同时,我对其他国家的文化也有一个更深厚的理解和欣赏。带着极大的热情,在福德汉姆大学,我将会尽一步了解周围的人,通过接触更多的人来增加我的见识。
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