文书点评：命题ESSAY

[Prompt: We all experience "defining moments,” significant events that can have a major impact on our lives. Briefly describe such an event and how it affected you.]

Bunks, ladders, tables, and a large dusty fan cluttered the tiny train compartment. Though I had hardly expected the velvet luxury of bygone days, the stained, dull brown wallpaper and filthy windows oppressed my spirit. My travel agent had assured me that I would have my own compartment, but five equally confused travel companions soon joined me: a hairdresser from Norway, a schoolteacher from Hawaii, a veterinarian from Beijing, and the veterinarian’s two cats. I am allergic to cats. I had dreamt of traveling the Trans-Siberian ever since I was a child: at home, the name had rung with mystery and romance. On board, uncomfortable, disappointed, and sneezing, I only wanted to go home.

During the three-week gap between graduation and my first day of work, I decided to fulfill my childhood dream of traveling the full length of the longest railway line in the world: the Trans-Siberian Railway. It was my first true travel adventure, and it changed my outlook dramatically.

Traveling 8,000 kilometers in cramped conditions over seven long days and nights, I came to know my travel companions well. As I experienced their unique perspectives and different customs in extremely close quarters, I also noticed that we could laugh together and see the same stark beauty in the icy tundra. I realized that despite differences of dress and language, of political and religious beliefs, all of the world’s people are essentially similar. We all have common urges and concerns; we all yearn for the same goals and experience the same joys and sorrows. Those who patronize other people, demonize those they disagree with, or disregard foreign cultures as primitive have come to seem foolish. My journey on the Trans-Siberian railway was an uncomfortable yet invaluable experience, as I traveled across the world I was only beginning to understand.

点评：

这是一篇命题小作文，主要是描述一件对自己产生重大影响的事情。本文只有三段，第一段大概描述了一下事情的前因后果，第二段是承上启下的过渡段，第三段是文章的重点，描述作者从这件事情受到的影响和启发。

作者选取了自己毕业之后的西伯利亚大铁路之旅的经历为题材，把旅行的经历和感悟描述了出来。在狭小拥挤的车厢里，作者度过了一段并不是很舒服的旅程，但是作者也因此认识了来自不同文化的人，对于人生的看法也从此改变。作者从与旅伴们的交流中得出了人类从本质上是一样的，都有相同的追求。

在写命题文章的时候，一定要弄懂题目的要求，想明白出题者要的是什么。就像在这篇文章当中，题目的重点就是“major impact”。描写的事情本身不是最重要的，重要的是作者从中真正体会的东西，把自己对于这件事情的看法写出来。

译文：横跨西伯利亚之旅

（提示：我们都经历过对我们生命有着重要影响的“决定性时刻”或者重大事件。请简单描述一件影响你的事情。）

铺位，梯子，桌子和一台脏兮兮的大风扇充斥着狭窄的火车车厢。即使我几乎没有憧憬过会有舒舒服服的奢华，但残旧破烂的墙画和沾满灰尘的窗子让我感到深深的失望。我的旅游代理保证我可以独享一个火车车厢，但是五个跟我一样感到疑惑的旅伴很快也走了进来。他们分别是一个挪威的理发师，一个夏威夷的老师，一个北京的兽医，加上他的两只猫。我对猫过敏。我从孩童时就梦想可以横跨西伯利亚旅行：在家里，这是充满了神秘和浪漫的事情；在车上，我感到不舒服，失望，还打喷嚏，我只想回家。

在毕业之后，我决定利用上班前空闲的三个星期时间实现孩提时代要走完世界上最长的铁路线进行旅行的梦想：西伯利亚大铁路。这是我的第一次真正的冒险旅行，而且很大程度上改变了我对人生的看法。

在7个漫长的日日夜夜里，我在拥挤的环境里旅行了8，000公里，也熟悉了我的旅伴。我在极其拥挤的空间里感受到了他们独特的观点和不同的文化，我同样注意到我们可以一起欢笑，对于冰冻苔原的荒凉也有相同的审美观。我意识到虽然我们穿着不同的服装，说着不同的语言，有着不同的政治和宗教信仰，全世界的人们本质上是一样的。我们有共同的追求和利益，我们向往相同的目标，经历相同的悲欢。那些剥削他人，妖魔化持有异见的人，把外国文化看成是原始文化的人是愚蠢的。我在西伯利亚大铁路的旅途是不舒服的却是无价的经历，当我横跨世界的时候我才刚开始理解。